Changes and Transitions Part 2: Making Changes Permanent with Partner

YOU AREN'T WEARING ANY PANTS!

To make changes and prevent you and your partner from reverting back into old habits, you need to dress your mind every morning like your dress your body. You have to SET your mind before the world sets it for you. Declare your power over your mind to follow through on new behaviors. You must put on your pants!

A new "way of being" happens because you have practiced it. Changing your new "way of being" requires you to consciously practice the new habit to establish your new mental programing to eventually make this new habit unconscious like your previous behaviors were. However, it takes time.

If you want to be different, you have to start doing this differently, requiring you to change your focus. You have to change what you are doing right now if you want to modify aspects of your behavior or thought processes.

When you wake up in the morning, decide who you are striving to be today. Strive to be even just one degree better than who you were yesterday. What can you do slightly better than the day before? That is all it takes to make changes permanent.

First, stop being so hard on each other. Search for things you two are doing well and voice it. What is going well?

Second, establishing daily touchpoints. Find times through the day to talk to each other, share, and laugh with each other as you progress. Text each other, call or find times to connect when you both are home together.

Celebrate your small wins so making changes feels satisfactory rather than dreadful. Give each other encouragement.

You are going to get this, and your changes will be permanent. It just takes time. Are you willing to give each other that - space and time to practice?