Teens, Moods and Your Role as a Parent

This WILL push your buttons.
         This WILL shock you.
                  And this WILL happen.

Being a parent allows for many shocking moments. Moments that will make you laugh, make you cry, make you proud, make you mad, and many other moments that will make you question your parenting ability.

Teen moods are one of those things that will leave you having many moments of frustration, confusion, hurt, and anger if you allow it.

I want to share a few essential tips for you to remember as you are raising a precious human being who also happens to be a teen and help you become the exact parent your teen needs you to be.

As you read this complementary information to the video, I intend to spark some understanding. I want to remind you about where your teen is in terms of brain development and support you in creating your dream family life even when we are experiencing the pre/teen mood phase.

I think it is true that no neuroscience is needed to prove that the brain doesn't fully develop until into our mid-twenties, all you have to be is a parent, and you will witness that full-on. I am so glad you are here to get the most important tips to remember as you raise your teen.

Parenting is a rocky journey from the time of birth until the end of time, but the thrill is worth it. As your coach, I am here to show you things you may not be seeing and help you grow better each day. So, I may say things that make you feel uncomfortable, poked, defensive, and angry, and all of this is part of the process. Keep going. I promise you it is worth it. You're doing great. I am here to keep you to that high standard.

So, let's dig into moods.

The most important thing to consider is that no mood is permanent. Moods change like the weather changes. Rather than being mad at the weather, you make the proper adjustments. You may get tired of a particular season or fed up with the rain, but you know it won't last forever, so you do your best to make due. This changing of the weather idea is the same as your teen. And just like you don't take the weather personally, you must learn not to take your teen's moods personally either. In most cases, our teens are dealing with things you know nothing about or have forgotten.

Here are a few tips for handling moods and being the exact parent your teen needs you to be:

1. We must parent for a place of being unconditional.
a) What does it mean to love unconditionally? It means that no matter what our children or teens do, we choose to see the behavior separate from our child. We may disapprove of the behavior, but we do not disapprove of our child. Separating the outcome from our child allows us to notice, "Oh right, it is the mood that I don't like, not my child, and moods can change."

b) Unconditional also means our teen is not responsible for our happiness. We are. You are. I am responsible for my happiness. Unconditional means you can train your mind to continue to focus on what your teen is doing well and the innate goodness of your teen and respond to situations from this vantage point. This is tricky. To learn how to do this well, check out jennabayne.com/baynetime

2. We must refocus our expectations
a) Coming from a place of unconditional love will help you craft your positive expectations. In the morning, expect your teen to be different than yesterday, let go of reality and start to imagine how you want the morning to go. Visualize it before you go to bed or before your teen wakes up. The key is to feel it, not just see it. Play it out like an actual moving is playing in your mind. Your teen may disappoint you, but do not let that affect your mood today or your expectations tomorrow. Continue to look for what your teen is doing well and keep practicing your positive expectations. Again, this is so tricky. To learn more, practice and become unbreakable go to jennabayne.com/baynetime

3. We must practice parenting from an emotionally stable place
a) We must be more emotionally mature than your teen. Emotional maturity does not come with age. It takes intentional work and practice, and when you make a point to work on this, everything in your home will positively change. It is an incredibly tricky practice because our kids push our buttons often, and they push them well. It is so easy to want to yell back in anger and equal hurt, but this is not an effective strategy. Explaining to our teens all the things you have given up for them, spent on them, done for them is not effective. It will cause damage to your teen, you, and your relationship. Please be supported with this phase. Developmental damage is quickly done here without even knowing it. You know how fragile this time is, you went through it yourself. I would love to hear your story, share it with me jennabayne.com/baynetime.

Our teen is at a fragile brain developmental stage. It is in your family's best interest to reflect on what you've read here and what is in the video to remind yourself how you can best serve and support your teen. Your teen is so lucky to have you, and you are doing a fantastic job. You're here, that is proof for me to know how much you care about being the parent your children and teens need you to be.

Thanks for having some BAYNE time!