Changes and Transitions Part 1: Establishing New Habits with Partners
Making changes as partners and leaders of the family home takes time to adjust and make the transition.
Transitions can happen in two ways.
The first way is when you are going from A --------- Z.
A is where you are, and Z is where you want to be.
For example, A: you and your partner have disagreements at supper time, and you want to change the timing and conversation. Z then would be your idealistic image for what you want to create. Perhaps a check-in time after the kids go to bed and a few other new habits to make dinner time easier for the both of you.
The transition time then is right now. You are progressing from A to Z.
The second way is AZ ------, and the transition time happens afterward, like when you bring the baby home or move into a new house. However, instant change still requires a transition of adjusting.
In either case, mastering transitions is vital.
The main key point to chew on and digest is that you are going to mess up sometimes. You will keep going to the wrong utensil drawer as you build that neurological patterns that rewire your condition programming from your past. You and your partner are going to have slip-ups, so please do not get discouraged. Progress does not mean perfection.
One area to focus on right now as you journey towards your Z destination is to understand the advantages behind making these changes. So ask each other and answer this question together, what are the advantages to making this change? List out the benefits.
Keep focusing on the advantages rather than how it is to change. Changing habits takes time, so it is essential to remind yourself why you are doing it in the first place, and then the follow-up is to allow yourself and your partner to make mistakes. Admit it when you've messed up without the consequences of the other partner getting mad at you too. Remember, you are a team in this, so be on each other's side. Acknowledge when you mess up and then reflect. What was happening? What could you do better next time? If you can get to the place where you become aware of your slip-up, you are on your way to a breakthrough!
