When your partner asks, "How was your day?", this is what they are really asking!

Have you ever been in a relationship and still felt lonely?

Have you had moments in your current partnership where you have felt misunderstood, isolated, forgotten, or even taken for granted?

I've been working with couples and families for over seven years, and relationship fulfillment is my number one area of study.

Often when we are in relationships for an extended period, we stop seeing our partner. Have you ever hung a picture up on the wall, and after a while, you forget that it is there? Or your best friend has had a tattoo for years, and you don't notice it anymore because you're so used to it being there, but when someone else points it out, it's like "Oh yea, that is there. I forgot."

Well, we often do that with spouses. We stop paying attention to their needs and tending to them in the way we first did because we are used to having them there. We chose to be in this relationship; we married them, so isn't that enough to show our love?

NO!

Relationships fulfillment requires attention. To fulfill is a verb meaning you must take action for fulfillment to happen. And, lack of fulfillment leads to feelings of loneliness, anger, annoyance, and fear. This is why sometimes we feel or our partner feels agitated. Somewhere we aren't being filled up, or our partner isn't feeling full.

Why don't we communicate what we need? Because we don't even know what we are lacking. We feel an emptiness, but we can't pin it down. So, it is difficult to ask for what we don't know, and it is challenging to heal something when we don't visually see that is it broken.
Welcome to being in a long-term relationship. I am so glad you are here. Your relationship is about to become the best it has ever been!

The first step is to tend to your relationship foundation. Check out the master-course here.

The second step is what I outline in this video. Find ways to bring your partner into your day, your stories, and your future vision. I love acts of kindness and doing things for others; I want to stress that your first act of kindness should always be for the one standing right beside you day in and day out. Do not forget this person. Start here first and move outward after.

When your partner asks you, "How was your day?" Your partner genuinely wants to know how your day was, but when you give minimal details and portray that your day apart was the best, it doesn't make your partner feel unique, valued, or adored. This is the reason your partner may sound annoyed by your response.

When you can bring your partner in when you can sum up your day with your vision of your partner, it changes the whole dynamic. Relationships take effort. They are work. And, they are the most special dynamic you get to create.

Please don't take it for granted, stop looking at what you give and what your partner gives and start being players on the same team. Sometimes you work a little harder to get the best pass for the other player to score, but that is not how it will always be. Create the team you would want to be part of, be that teammate, focus on your skills, develop your talent, and always win.

This is why "How was your day?" is a loaded question.

I've seen this question spark fights, create tension, and ruin what should have been a happy home moment. In this video, I share with you the real meaning behind, "How was your day?" and how to level up your answer to ensure relationship fulfillment. 

Thank you for being part of Bayne. The place to be to create the relationships of your dreams.