Changes and Transitions Part 3: Progressing Habits without Reverting Back to Old ways

Uncategorized Jun 16, 2021
 

I always say that "in order to change yourself, you have to get to know yourself." Get to know yourself. Understand your triggers. We talk a lot of this in Module #8 of the SHOVE IT Foundations Course where we talk about your nemesis. Don't try to do this on your own!

The best thing about knowing yourself is that you begin to interrupt your struggles and upgrade your focus to prevent yourself from reverting to your old ways. You are a human, and you will have setbacks. You will make mistakes. You will be exhausted and overwhelmed, and your survival mode will trigger your old behaviors. It is all okay. Just notice. Identify if there are any commonalities in terms of when it happens and why. Take inventory for observation, NOT punishment.

Ask each other often:
What makes you feel loved? What would make you feel extra special today? What can I do?
What do you need in times of stress?
How can I best support you right now?

Get curious with your partner. Refrain from blaming or arguing with your partner and look at each other as two people learning how to make these changes happen rather than ones who aren't doing their part or doing enough. SHOVE IT to that thought!

Perhaps you need to redefine failure and mistakes with each other as a couple. Maybe you need to make new rules and strategies for how your marriage and your family work.
It is hard to make changes. It is way easier to stay stuck and remain uncomfortable in comfort. Do not give up on yourself. If you aren't doing it for yourself, do it for them - your family, partner, and kids' future.

The whole objective is to continue learning. Notice when you slip up and get curious about how it happened and why it happened. If you notice your partner slipping up, work with them rather than talk at them. There is nothing beneficial that comes from pointing fingers. We will talk about compassion versus a doormat in the next video. We want to ensure that both partners are putting in the effort necessary because that is the true definition of a healthy functioning family.

It is on you to be the best parent and partner, and if one partner is doing more of the work, resentments will happen. To prevent that and make habits stick, aim to keep progressing, being a little better than the day before.

You are doing fantastic, and I am here to be of support. Reach out to [email protected] any time, and we will assist you with your needs.

Delightfully,
Jenna

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